Sunday Blues

Let me start off by stating that I really love church. I am grateful for the gospel and the role it plays in my life. It makes me afraid when I think of my life without the truths of the gospel. I know I would have a lot of problems and be in a rough situation.

With that being said, I have to say that today I was ready to throw in the towel before sacrament meeting even started. It started this morning with getting ready. I know I don't really have room to complain, because I only have one child (a boy) to get ready for church, but it's really hard getting myself and Lincoln ready all alone. David always has meetings on Sunday mornings so he is not around to help. I am fully aware that there are moms out there who get 5 daughters with long hair ready every week for church all alone. The 5 daughters show up with their mom with perfect hair-dos and sit reverently on the bench for the entire 70 minutes of sacrament meeting. Thinking about those moms today is making me angry.
Why is it that I battle so much with my little 3 year old boy on Sundays? It's a power struggle every week.
It's a battle to get him ready for church. I allow him to choose books and a few toys to take to church to play reverently. However, when we get to church, he always wants the one toy or book that he chose to leave home and that sends him into a tail-spin.
My little boy is not reverent in church at all. We have tried and tried, but we don't know what to do. He talks the entire time, he gets angry when it's time to sing, he flops on the floor and kicks the benches. However, we can usually get Linc to sit with his arms folded for about 10 seconds while the sacrament is being passed to us. I guess that's a start.
During sacrament meeting, I can hear snickers and giggles of other adults around us thinking that we (David and I) are a pair of suckers. Sometimes during my wrestling match with Lincoln, I glance up at the bishopric only to find that they have snickers on their faces as well. They are thinking, "man...that kid knows how to work his parents." And it's true. He does.
After the 3 hours, I go to pick up Linc from Sunbeams. Lincoln's sunbeam teacher says that he is very loud and he will not sit in his seat. Basically, he's the naughtiest in the class (just what I needed to hear).
For some reason, I have noticed that I don't have as much patience on Sundays with Lincoln as I do on other days of the week. It could be because I know that people are watching me and critiquing my parenting skills. It could be that it's hard to wrestle a 3 year old in high heels, pantyhose and a dress while trying to remain lady-like. OR...It COULD be that the adversary is trying to get to me. He does not want me to go to church and feel the spirit. He does not want me to teach my little boy about the gospel and how to keep the commandments. He wants me to stay home and do anything BUT church on Sundays because that's how he can get a grip on me and my family.
Well, guess what?! I am going to keep dragging me and my little Sunbeam to church every week regardless of how bad I don't want to go and wrestle. Lincoln is going to learn the gospel and be a good boy who keeps the commandments. I am not going to let these Sunday blues get the best of me.
I will fight this battle, and I will WIN!